Blood, Guts and Porn

Tonight’s plan was to be surrounded by perverts. Wonderful, gorgeous, military attired perverts. My body decided to have another plan and make me feel so ill and washed out after work that I decided to slink off home instead. Thanks mother nature. No really. Thank you. You utter twat.

Anyways seeing as I had a couple of hours to myself, I thought I’d catch up on my movie watching, and gave ‘Insidious’ a go. I’m a huge fan of horror movies. Have been since I watched ‘Hellraiser’ when I was about 9. My family knew the people at the video rental store pretty well when I was growing up, and well, I took advantage of this by coming to a deal with the man who ran it – I’ll rent the PG, brand new out, thus more expensive to rent movie for my sister, and you let me go through all the shitty £1 18 rated horror rentals…deal? Deal….except they wouldn’t let me watch ‘Zombie Flesh Eaters’ which now I have seen it as an adult, was probably a good move. So yeah, I’ve watched a lot of horror films.

I have to say ‘Insidious’ definitely freaked me out. A decent ghost/spooky film will generally get to me more than blood and guts/torture porn. I guess the idea of a mostly unseen predator, something you don’t know just gives it the edge. Another psycho human being. Meh. More blood and guts than you think you can handle. Meh. See worse shit on the news. Give me some decent suspense, and I will lap that up like nobodies business. All the films that I have ever been honestly scared by in my life have all had this. ‘Poltergeist’; yes, it scared the absolute piss out of me for years, and only recently watched it again. Luckily for me it has aged pretty badly, but the music score on that still curdles my blood. ‘The Exorcist’. If that doesn’t mess with your head, then you must be so desensitized to life that you’re close to coma, and now I can add ‘Insidious’ to the list. The film itself doesn’t do anything new, but the way it uses tension is really effective, and the ending is pretty clever too. Afterwards; in the dark, I scrambled for the nearest light, I wouldn’t go outside on to the roof garden without switching the light on first, I looked around at everything, and I was determined there was something that was ready to jump on me! That is exactly how a horror movie should leave you, but, there’s been such a glut of ‘horror porn’, and your basic slasher movies, that few have been clever or effective.

Since I started watching horror movies, I’ve always gone after the next with a near ravenous glee. I want my next hit. I want to feel scared, and I guess the more I watched, the more desensitized I got to them. I’ve watched some stuff that would make lesser men throw up and it’s done nothing for me, but I’ve found, the older I get, the less is more option is often so much more appealing as you can leave the pointers to whatever my mind wants me to see. I create my own horror. Another favourite is ‘A tale of two sisters’ (Goddamn those movie geeks on IMDB low mark their movies!!) as again, it weaves the story together first. There’s a couple of glances of something scary (The Kitchen sink bit freaks me out EVERY TIME!) but only in that 5 minutes when all the stories reach their conclusion does all the suspense come and wallop you. The same can be said for films at the other end of the bracket – love films – you can have actual real sex, which is absolutely brilliant in ‘Shortbus’ as it is a requirement of the film, and there’s a beauty to it as it shows a sensitivity, a reality, it’s sex you’ve probably experienced yourself, but It’s not all out fucking. It has its place. Then there’s the movies that have hyper-stylized sex scenes that leave you cold – sex isn’t like that – it’s meant to be sweaty, dirty and fun – not cleaned up and perfected. Yet there’s so much of it that I guess you get a little desensitized to it as well, and I long for films with actual wanting; a touch of fingers, a glance, just little drops of sexuality without having it shoved in your face….oh….wait….yeah…there are films like that, but yeah, classics like ‘Brief Encounter’, ‘Casablanca’ – the build up to ‘Here’s looking at you kid’ couldn’t have been done without suspense.

There’s so much of everything these days. Like somehow everything has to be bigger, brighter and more to capture the attention of an audience that somehow, with this, it has gotten more dense. Horror is meant to scare, not have you giggling at terrible effects, and love films are meant to be that, not porn (God knows I have very little against porn, but time and a place and all that). A lot of big movies (independent cinema is where you’ll find most treasure, and now, that isn’t me being a hipster) really need to go back to the drawing board, or stop with the slasher flicks and porn. Find something your audience isn’t desensitized too and going to the cinema will be interesting again.

 

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